written in your absence

your hair glides through my fingers like wine to these lips.
mouth dry and craving your kind tongue,
soft on my neck like the first snow in this tired town.

heat radiating off my flesh made cold by life,
i can see the warmth in your eyes.
piercing my soul, causing me to ache as if i've never felt before.

from "Hunchback"

"they can heal with their touch

they can kill what they touch and

i am dying

but not dead

yet."

Bukowski

Here

The city breathes cold and harsh.

The frost on my window 

while the mouse crawls across the floor

you can't stay here anymore.

you can't stay here anymore.

And though the wind sounds like his voice,

my tears are not for him.

Now that anger has reached my core

You can't stay here anymore.

You can't stay here anymore.

The blood won't clot.

The skin is tight and dry,

and the heart is just an open sore

You can't stay here anymore.

No, you can't stay here anymore.

Waiting

The air is thick

and I feel your absence here

more than ever.

Will you never come home?

What did I do to disappoint you?

Was I too much of myself?

If I promise to be fake this time,

will you turn around and give me yourself?

Because I've been here so long

Without your smell on my sheets

holding my pillow tight

breathing in hard, searching for your scent

What did I do to disappoint you?

Was I too much of myself?

If I promise to be fake this time,

will you turn around and give me yourself?

Every song I hear

was written about you.

Every drop of wine I drink.

It tastes just like you.

What did I do to disappoint you?

Was I too much of myself?

And if I promise to be fake this time,

will you turn around and give me yourself?

So here I sit

Here I dream.

All for you and your promises.

All for you and your kind.

her name is

A force. Storms through the door,

hair and hands in the air

Circles of light orbiting her existence.

Powerful and all encompassing

"Shma-lex-assss," she says

Teeth sparkling, eyes blazing.

Ready to pull me in to 

her wicked ways, willingly

i go

There is something there in those

long nights, face to face.

Dramatics reach full scale.

Her dark lips listen

cajoling my tired soul.

Eager to hear more.

Say more, get lost.

In nonexistent time.

Touching, laughing.

Loud and present

A warning sign to not come near,

push others out until

there is no one left but us.

Us and the painful memories shared

and relived

In the dark hours of the night.

The sun rises on our conversations

that never end. I battle with whether

we combine for good, bad, either way

we comeback for more.

a sigh escapes

my hands part and move to hold my head,

chin down i look back up again.

red ball bouncing across the hardwood floor,

little paws chase from one side of the room

to the next. his hands glide back from his temples

to the base of his neck. eyes piercing a hole

through the empty space to which he stares.

he doesn't dare look to me.

phone rings in the middle of the night.

he tells me he still knows me,

he never did. i lie, agree. listening

to what he has to say, if anything at all.

we speak of him, of her, of us.

back to the kitchen

where i first heard those words.

silent in my memory, so loud

parting the air with his tongue

time stands still there. sitting at the table

hands clenched, face pale

my nail polish is chipped, nails brittle.

the chair creaks underneath

my shifting weight, as i lean forward

into the moment

ah, yes.

The Voters Have Spoken

Guy: Want to come back to my place?

Girl: I thought you had a girlfriend.

Guy: I told you, I just haven't broken up with her yet!

Girl: Fine, but you still have a girlfriend.

Guy: Fuck that. I still have a girlfriend only in the same sense that Bush is still President.

Overheard by: true...

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